I know, it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything of substance. A dear friend of mine actually told me to write more. It will help me deal with this shit. Or at least get it out of my head for a while. Otherwise, I become this pessimistic, miserable, bitch. No wonder I don’t have friends who “have no time” to hang out. Well… I’m working on it. I’m bitter. I’ll admit it. I’m very bitter. This was not in my plans. Being disabled at 26, having a hard time walking, having joints dislocate or sublux with every movement, and the chronic pain. Not in my plans. I don’t know whose plans those things would be in, but certainly not in mine. I had dreams, aspirations, I was working towards applying to Brown University’s Neuroscience program before this hit me really hard. I was even considering taking the MCATs. I can’t be a dr when I need my own CPA with me at all times for when I injure myself examining a patient. I’m trying to get back into art, try to channel all this bitterness and make something good with it. Trying to find the good in whatever I can. It’s hard, but not impossible.
I’m seeing a new pain clinic, and they are FANTASTIC. If any of you are in the Providence, RI or southern MA area, I highly recommend this place. They are very compassionate and will try everything they can. Unfortunately, I am in the stages of trying to find the right combo of meds to help keep the pain tolerable and keep me sane at the same time. I was on Lyrica for about a week and started having horrible visual side effects. Go off that. Now we are trying Neurontin as well as Cymbalta, Ultram ER, and Ultracet. Then the topicals, Volteran Gel, and Lidoderm Patches. I want to stay away from opiates as long as possible. So if that means months of trial and error of different types of med treatment, then so be it. I’m getting in contact with a dr that does something called Prolotherapy. It sounds super scary, some people have had good results, some hasn’t helped. What they do is take a syringe filled with dextrose and inject it into the problem tendon/ligament to irritate it so it will contract and form scar tissue. The idea is that enough scar tissue will form to keep the joint from falling out of place. Like I said…. scary. I was told he also does other things, so I am going to call, and talk to him and see if I would be a candidate.
The Pain Dr also put me in contact with a local woman with EDS and we’ve been talking a lot. She is amazing, so caring, and willing to help anyway she can. She suggested a bunch of places to go to. Convinced me to contact the Chiari Institute (have to mail out that paperwork). It’s so nice to have someone close by to be able to talk to.