It’s sure has been quite some time since I’ve last posted. Things have been absolutely crazy on my end. Still trying to figure out a good pain management. So far: Ultram ER 300mg, Ultracet 37.5 every 4hrs as needed, Neurontin 300mg 3x Daily, Cymbalta 60mg, Valium 10mg every 4hrs as needed, Ambien 10mg at night (and I still don’t sleep more than a few hrs between the neurontin, ambien, and valium). I’ve changed PT’s because the first one was pushing me too hard and I ended up hurt after every session. The new guy was really good. Was with him for about a month and a half–then, no insurance. That’s right. I don’t have medical insurance anymore.
Good news, I’m working with my OT to relearn how to knit with braces on so that it doesnt hurt! Whoot! I miss knitting. I’m a hardcore knitter, too. I bought a knitting loom for simpler projects, but I love doing lacework and cabling. OT really has been so helpful in the adaptation process. I bring in different things that I want to be able to do again, and we try to figure out the best way to do it. I have a foamy tube for my drawing utensils and paintbrushes. I wrapped some other utensils with Cabon/VetWrap to make it squishy and easier to hold on to. My silver finger splints came in. They are the Murphy brand. They don’t quite do the job. See, I have thin fingers but HUGE knuckles. We think that if we widen the splints a little so that there is a bigger angle, it will do what it is supposed to, as well as still fitting. We will see next week how it goes.
It’s been a little while since I’ve posted. Haven’t had the energy to do so. I’m stuck in a whirlwind of getting my shit together for dr’s appts, disability, unemployment, and student loans. Along with coming to grips with the fact that I have a body that is failing me structurally, I’ve been having cycles of depression and positivity… not exactly manic-depressive, but days like… ‘whoot, I got something done’, or ‘fuck, my body isn’t listening and I will never be able to work again.’ I’m getting there, though. Accepting this crap, that is. I’ve been told by many that I have been handed a crappy hand, but that I’m dealing pretty well. I’m trying to stay as positive as I can. I met with a Disability Lawyer, presented my case, and he said that it sounds like I could be approved and to go ahead and apply. So I did that today. Got all my paperwork together, letters from drs (except the one from my primary which arrived 3 hours AFTER my meeting), letters from friends, clinical notes from the geneticist, symptom impairment worksheet… everything I could possibly do to prove my case. Everything is going to be processed and hopefully I will hear back sooner than later. The lawyer said to give him a call when I found out what the decision is, and if I am denied then we’ll go from there. So that’s that. It’s done for now. I can breathe a little bit. Meanwhile, I am trying to get into the pain clinic and somehow the referral has been lost. WTF, man? Waiting to hear back on that.
Other things… I’m trying to learn watercolors… Neil’s mom is helping me out, giving me pointers, stuff like that. She’s an amazing artist, and I’m so jealous. I’ve also joined a Chick Lit book club. Ha. Right now we are reading The Names My Sisters Call Me by Megan Crane. I’m 5 chapters in. I have to say… the story isn’t horrible, but I am having a hard time with the author’s style. The main character often goes into thought/rambling sequences and seem out of place. Hopefully it will get better.
I’m starting the SSDI process. I have no idea what I am doing… I have a phone interview on June 13th to do the application and an appt next week with my primary to discuss things. Now I am working on the disability report online. It’s a hard thing to have to point out all the things you are unable to do. Not very good for the self-esteem. It needs to be done, though. I can’t live on what I am making now and bills are piling up.